Learning From My Mistakes.

So, last night was the big Disco Ball at Hydrate. I was so excited for my friends AnnieGrace and Stephen to meet Michael, a.k.a. my boyfriend. Michael was bringing his friend Jackie, and they were to arrive around 8:30. I got there around 8:00 and enjoyed silliness with Stephen, Eric and the ever-hilarious and charming Philip. AnnieGrace soon appeared, and I was getting nervous but also thinking, "Michael is so adorable... they will all be green with envy!"

Then my cell phone rang. it was Michael with bad news. His Jeep Wrangler convertible plastic window was broken (this had happened a few days earlier, so I was aware of it), and he was not comfortable leaving his car on the street in Boystown with the driver's side window missing. And Jackie doesn't have a car. I offered to go pick them up, but he said no, that he was trying to reach Jackie to tell her it was off. Then he asked if I would still come over to his place when I was done at Hydrate. Which, of course I would, but I was so disappointed. AnnieGrace and Stephen wisely wondered why he couldn't just take a cab. Which would make sense, right?

Anyway, after speculating on whether a pair of cute guys across the bar who looked alike were twins (they were- I asked them), I took my leave and headed to Michael's. He was all over me, was so thrilled I was there, and we had a lovely time. I spent the night. (No sex, remember... not for six months.)

Then tonight we had been invited to my dear friend Jackie's home out here in the 'burbs for cocktails and munchies, so she and a few friends could meet Michael. I've pretty much let everyone know that he is the one I plan on seeing for a long time. I checked in with Michael mid-day and we confirmed that he'd be at my place around 7.

He called at about 5:30 to tell me he couldn't come. We'd have to do it another time, because he couldn't make the drive all the way out here without a window. It was very cold, after all. Then he asked if I was angry, and I said, "To be quite honest, yes, I am angry. I have friends who I now have to explain to, who are looking forward to meeting you." He responded that he would come and he'd be here at 7 as agreed. He said he wanted to simplify my life, not complicate it. I apologized a bit, saying I hope I didn't sound like a jerk but that at this late hour it would be rude, etc.

While waiting for Michael, I called AnnieGrace to get her take, and she said I was okay to express my honest feelings, particularly given the last-minute-ness of it all. She gently reminded me that it would be a good thing to be appreciative once he arrived. I just got a bad feeling that he didn't want to meet my friends. Maybe he had social anxiety disorder, or something.

And when he arrived, frozen like a popsicle, I felt awful. We did go to Jackie's, and everyone loved Michael, and he them, and all was good. And when he and I ended up back at my place to say goodnight, he reminded me that there's no rush. There will be plenty of time for him to meet my friends, and for me to meet his. And I just need to be patient. "I'm not going anywhere," he said.

So it wasn't that he didn't want to meet my friends. And he was delightfully social and funny and intelligent, and won everyone over (including me, again and still). It was simply that he didn't feel the need to meet them all so quickly, and (my interpretation, not his) I was a little eager to show him off, both last night and tonight.

So I've learned that I need to continue to hoard him and let him hoard me, and get to really know one another, and learn all those interesting details about each other's lives, and eventually the friends and family will fit into the equation. And they will all love him.

Heavy sigh of relief. And my mantra continues: "breathe, relax, take it slow, let it happen..."