The Seven Deadly Sins Meme.

Just in time for Christmas, my delightful friend Stephen tagged me to do this meme. I feel compelled to do it, almost like one of those emails you have to forward to seven friends and then wait for the phone to ring.

Anyway, here it is. Oh, and let's see if RobOrange and Java might do this one as my tag-ees.

1. If you could kill someone (or injure them egregiously) who would it be and why? Bonus points for ‘how’.

I would never want to kill anyone, or even injure them. But there’s this bitch I know who causes nothing but trouble. She can certainly go. And how? Cast her in a play. She would suck so bad she’d be pelted to death with rocks.

2. You have been given 25 Million dollars, and you have to spend it all (no donations to charity or investing). What do you spend it on?

A big ol’ huge piece of land with a fairly average-sized home for me and Michael somewhere warm. Then homes for all my family.

3. You have the opportunity to steal anything in the world without getting caught. What is it and why?

This is a very materialistic question, and I really don’t care for the material things. So I guess I would steal all the money from a huge Swiss bank, and not have to work for the rest of my life.

4. You have the opportunity to pawn off one facet of your life to someone else forever. What is it and why?

My temper. No question. It’s my downfall whenever it rears its ugly head.

5. If you could have sex with anyone (or anything) throughout the history of the world without repercussions, who or what would it be and why?

Wow… this is a difficult question! I don’t usually think about having sex with people who are now dead. Someone sexy. Someone who I wouldn’t otherwise have any chance of having sex with—so someone straight. You know, JFK Jr. was always pretty hot and unattainable to me. Yeah, JFK Jr. This was a tough one, because any answer seems so shallow.

6. Describe the time in your life when you were the most bitterly jealous.

About 3 years ago, almost to the date I am writing this. I was burning a holiday CD on the computer when a little alert popped up telling me I had a new email message. I thought it odd, since I wasn’t even online. Turns out, my husband had been online and never signed off. The email was for him—and it was from the man he’d been having a long-distance affair with for nearly a year. It was the first I knew of it, and it ruined my Christmas. (I kept it to myself until February, but that’s a story for another post!)

7. If you could have free, no-death, GOOD plastic surgery on anything and everything that you want, what would you alter and why?

Well, I used to hate my nose. My skin is a little scarred near my temples from adolescent acne. I’ve always wanted a bigger wienie. But the one thing I would alter (and it doesn’t really involve plastic surgery) is my teeth. I was given a lot of tetracycline as an infant, so my teeth came in discolored and have stayed that way. I also dislike that my two front teeth look like rabbit teeth because the ones next to them are slightly crooked. This is something I will probably have fixed one day—just my own personal thing.

I'm Stephen's Bitch!

My dear friend Stephen threw down the gauntlet and invited me to be his bitch with the 10 Things Meme (like him, I have no clue what a meme is). I'm so honored. It's like being invited to Oprah's for dinner and not being Sidney Poitier or even black.

Forthwith...

The 10 Things Meme.

1. When you were born, how much did you weigh?

I have no idea. It was average. What made it exciting was that the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and I was a little blue-in-the-face when I first appeared.

2. What's your sugar poison?

Chocolate. Anything chocolate.

3. If you had to choose between meat and cheese for the rest of your life, which would you choose? Then be specific.

Well, since the new beau is a vegetarian, I'd probably choose cheese, since I'm planning on giving up red meat anyway. Cheese... I love Muenster especially.

4. What, is your opinion, is the worst song ever?

Tough question at this time of year, since there are so many holiday songs I despise. But I'll avoid the temptation and stay with non-holiday tunes. There are so many... I guess I'll just name the first icky song that comes to mind: "I've Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates." Bleccch.

5. Who was your favorite teacher growing up and why?

Miss Reese, my elementary school gym teacher. She knew I was uncoordinated and was especially understanding of my shortcomings in p.e. She even started a "special" gym class on Wednesday mornings before school for those of us who needed extra help.

6. What personal activity, when performed in public, bothers you the most?

I'm with Stephen on this one: talking on the cell phone. People are beyond presumptuous when they assume we don't mind overhearing their personal conversations. Ugh.

7. Ok, there's a $50 bill lying on the ground. You pick it up. Dumbfounded by your incredible luck, what do you selfishly purchase?

Wow. Maybe a carton of cigarettes. Or a sweater. I guess it depends on what store I'm closest to when finding the money-- because that's where it will be spent.

8. Do you have a recurring nightmare? If so, explain.

Yes, usually one to six months after I finish a show, I have an actor's nightmare that everyone has reunited to do the show again. Everyone has had their scripts to review but me. Or everyone has their costume but me. Everyone has rehearsed but me. I never get to the point of actually going on-- it's all about the worry of what I'm going to do. The worst was last year, when the nightmare took place at my high school, and we were doing the musical in which I had the lead... it's 20-some years later, and I haven't seen the script. Awful.

9. Name one place on Earth you've never been, but vow to visit at least once.

Australia.

10. You notice that question #9 wasn't really a question. You feel smart for catching such a small detail. What else can you do really well that reminds you how smart you are?

Tons. Really. I'm not modest about this. I have an i.q. that's really high. Let's just say over 140 and leave it at that. Seriously.

Apparently, I'm supposed to tag someone now. So I will tag Java and Mark in De. I bet they will do this!