If Your Friends Are There, Then Everything's Alright.

I just got off the phone with Annie Grace.  She is one of the most incredible people I've ever known.  I love when there's someone who you laugh with, even when things are rough or challenging or even shitty.  That's the kind of friend Annie Grace is.  We crack each other up, even when we ourselves are mired in crap!

I got a lot done today, including scrubbing floors and doing laundry.  I also started working on a big project that will keep me busy through September.  More on this later.

School starts tomorrow-- the first official day with students.  I'm so excited to get back into the swing of things with them.  I loved my summer and enjoyed the time off, but I was a little on the lazy side and even bored at times.  I'm thankful to have a job I love, and I look forward to going back to work!

OMG! Dear Blog, Can You Ever Forgive Me?

I have been an absent blogger for nearly two whole years! I decided it was time I return... there is so much going on in my life! A quick recap of where I am now...

Romance: none. Looking, but not too desperately.

Pets: my dear Bailey is gone. He was quite ill and passed away in March of 2009. In April of 2010 I got custody of Muffin, my friend's 15-year-old cat. (My friend was moving and couldn't keep the cat, so I volunteered to adopt her. That is she in the picture. She is absolutely adorable and loves me.

Career: heaven. I'm teaching once again-- where I belonged all along. I'm in a middle school, with 6th, 7th and 8th graders, teaching music and technology. Love it. Truly.

Show Biz: I'm in rehearsals for a production of "Doubt" by John Patrick Shanley. The film starred Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman. I'm in the Hoffman role. Totally excited about this. We open in October.

Health: best it has been in years. I quit smoking after 25 years! If you need help quitting, go with Chantix. Absolutely incredible. I literally stopped one day in June after a week on the Chantix and haven't gone back since. It's gross to me. AND I have lost 7 pounds. And started yoga. And soon will be on the treadmill regularly. And I'm eating better and drinking a whole lot less Diet Coke.

There's lots of other stuff going on, but I'll get to that gradually. I have huge stuff I haven't even shared with my nearest and dearest yet. But in general , life is great.

Yes, We Can.

Although I didn't publicize it, I was on a self-imposed "blogging strike" until this moment. I wanted to blog about my trip to Europe that happened in September, about the completion of the DVD I created for work, about appearing in a short horror film, and about performing at Davenport's Piano Bar & Cabaret in Chicago. But none of that seemed as important as what I was reading in other blogs-- the critical state of the economy, the inane war in Iraq, and the upcoming presidential election.

I just watched the 16-minute speech given by Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States. I bawled like a baby, starting with his inclusion of the phrase "gay and straight," and continuing right through to his rallying cry of "yes, we can." I was literally sobbing at the end, as Joe Biden and his family joined Obama's family on the stage, holding hands and celebrating. The shots of the audience were inspiring, particularly a gay couple in an embrace, one of them in joyous tears.

The pendulum has begun to swing the other way.

The right way.

The only way.

It's time to put it all into perspective. Life, citizenship, action, equality, responsibility, democracy.

Stay tuned.

My boyfriends and I.

I was inspired to do this photo of myself with Adam Levine and George Eads, based on my TMI answer earlier today. Hmmm, Doug.... horny much? Bored much?

TMI Tuesday.

1. When was the last time someone hit on you? What went down?

April of this year. A guy decided we were in a relationship on our very first date. It felt more like a hook-up to me from the get-go, so I relented to going to bed with him. He started getting all cuddly and weird, talking in various foreign accents and referring to things that would be great to see in the future. I had to finally say, "I don't have sex on the first date. This was our first meeting. We had sex. Therefore, this was the last date." His response was, "Oh, so you got what you wanted, and that's it?" My reply? "No, I didn't really get what I wanted, and that's it." As to what went down? His self-esteem, my pride, and him. On me.

2. If you were single and could be with any one person, who would it be (thinking singer/actor or someone famous here, but whatever)?

George Eads from "CSI." He's my celebrity fantasy du jour. Or Adam Levine.

3. Have you ever had done anything sexual in your office or your place of employment?

Thankfully, no. Ewww. Such a turn-off.

4. Do you apologize when you make a mistake? How do you react when someone calls you out?

This question is kinda random, given this week's theme. Well, I prefer to be told in private rather than embarrassed in front of others. But if a mistake is corrected, it's a good thing, and of course I apologize. Unless I did it on purpose.

5. Top or bottom?

I used to think I was a top, but I've discovered fairly recently that I rather enjoy the bottom, too. So I am honestly versatile, with bottom proclivities. Though when asked, I will say. "I don't prefer top or bottom. I prefer 'next to.'"

Bonus (as in optional): How old were you when you first had a willing sexual experience?

Wow... without giving any details whatsoever... I was 14. And it was with a guy. My first and last time with a girl happened when I was 16.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

An actual magnet on my fridge.

Hmmmmm... I disagree.

WHAT CAN IT BE?

The three following statements apply to the same things (or people).

What (or whom) did Kurt Vonnegut call "transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing?"

Hemingway and Chandler and Stephen King "wouldn't be seen dead in a ditch with one (though Truman Capote might)."

And what (or whom) has been called "girly," "odious," and "most pusillanimous, sissified, and utterly useless?"

Click here for the answer.

Who knew? I always liked them.

TMI Tuesday.

You find a fairy. With a wave of their wand they can change anything for you.

What is the one thing you would change about your body?

I would be slim and have a nice chest and arms. Really, this guy's body would do me fine. My cock size is fine, my face is okay, my teeth I could have done. But a good torso takes work, so bring on the fairy. The one with the wand. Um, the magic wand.

What is the one personality trait you would change?

I'd like to not have bi-polar tendencies. Depression I keep under control with meds, but the anger side is not quite so easy to manage. I would no longer be short-tempered. It doesn't come out too often, but when it does, it's ugly.

What is the one thing about your job you would change?

I'd have one that I am passionate about, making at least as much as I do now.

What is the one thing about your home you would change?

I'm okay with my home, although getting a magic-wand wave from a fairy, I guess I'd want a bigger place, perhaps closer to the city.

Or a place in San Diego. Paid for.

What is the one thing about your Significant Other you would change?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... I would end up with a Significant Other. Probably the wand-waving fairy.

Who is the one person you would poof out of your life and why?

A woman at work who annoys me. I get along pretty well with people in general, so she's the only one who comes to mind. She's a passive-aggressive, small-minded beeyatch.

Who is the one person you would poof back in and why?

This is too selfish. Bringing someone back only means they would have to die all over again, and losing them once was enough. There's no one living that poofed out of my life-- I'm lucky that way.

Just Jeans Monday.

The Countdown Begins.

I fly to Dulles and then head to Heathrow in exactly 18 days. And in 21 days, I embark on my western European cruise. We have two nights in London prior to the cruise, during which time we'll do touristy, sight-seeing-type activities... Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Parliament, etc. I also plan on eating some pub food... you know, bangers and mash and items of that ilk.

While cruising, we will have excursions in Paris (via Le Havre), Lisbon, Vigo, Malaga, Barcelona, Cannes, Tuscany, and ending in Rome.

My dad and his wife are extremely excited to be taking this trip; they email me every day. Sometimes they just send a message with the exact number of hours until the trip; other times they send handy little reminders ("Weigh your luggage at home to make sure it's under the 50-pound limit." "Bring a stapler in your suitcase to attach your luggage tags from the cruise line, because they aren't self-adhesive.")

I have never been overseas, so this will be a huge event for me.

TMI Tuesday.

Sheesh, has it been a week already?

1. What is your favorite song to have sex to?

One Gregorian chant or another. Because it's been that long.

No, I really don't have one... songs have so much meaning, memory and history for me that I would be distracted by music during sex. I would literally be playing an imaginary piano in my head (which I always do when I hear music). And it's hard to play piano with two hands while also putting your hands in two other places.

2. What is your vision of hell?

Being all alone, with no phone, and having really good gossip.

3. In the film made of your life, who will play you?

Someone once told me Jason Bateman. But I think Stephen Spinella would have more fun with the role. Actually, Mr. Spinella's getting up there in years, so perhaps he could play me in middle age and later.

4. What is the one thing you most urgently need to tell your mom?

That I'm not going to go to hell for being gay.

5. What will be carved onto your tombstone?

"What is your legacy?"

And the bonus: What is your drag name (which would be, first name: the name of your first pet; last name: the name of the street you grew up on)?

Now I heard that your soap opera character name is your middle name and the street you grew up on, and your drag (or porn) name is your first pet and your grandmother's maiden name. But going by this question, my drag name is "Sophie Ridgewood."

I prefer "Chloe Mydia."

TMI Tuesday.

1. What is your definition of romantic?

Inspiring intimacy, heightened senses, selfless acts of kindness and thoughtfulness; believing in fate and true love.

2. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?

Absolutely. To a fault. And by considering myself romantic, I mean I am a sucker for romance.

3. Is your significant other romantic?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

I'm laughing because I don't have a significant other. And if I don't laugh, I'll cry. But when I someday do have a significant other, his being romantic is a prerequisite.

4. Have you ever chastised a SO for not being romantic enough or too romantic?

I don't understand this question. That "a SO" must be a typo. But either way, no one chastises me for shit like this. [Ed.-- I get it now. Have I ever chastised a "significant other" for etc. etc. No. Never chastised. Wished for more romance, yes. But chastised, no.]

5. What do you consider a grand romantic gesture? Have you ever been the recipient or giver of one?

A surprise trip to Paris. A candlelit sponge bath. A home-cooked candlelight dinner in the nude. Nope, never really gave or received any of these.

6. If you have done something romantic to get laid, did it work? If not, why and how did that affect your romantic tendencies in the past.

For me, that's not the purpose of doing something romantic, although it is often the bonus. But you do something romantic out of love and respect, with no ulterior motive in mind; otherwise, it's not real romance, it's seduction. That's a whole different TMI Tuesday topic.

7. What is the most romantic thing you have ever done? Had done for you?

Here's the sad thing... I can't think of an answer to either question. My longtime partner and I were not terribly romantic. I guess there were poignantly touching things we did, but they were so often more "gifty" than romantic. Wow... I guess I need some romance in a big way... before I become a bitter middle-aged queen.

Brazilian Saturday.

I don't know who he is. I'd like to.

Igor Rosa.

Rafael Lazzini.

Favorite Things Friday.

I haven't posted one of these in awhile, but I was sitting here whining to no one about my pinched nerve (slighty better today), and I decided to mention a website that I love.
It's called bluegobo.com, and it's a gay boy's dream come true.
It's a video archive of musical theatre clips, some from the Tony Awards, some from old Ed Sullivan shows, and all of them amazing. It's one of those websites where you must set aside large blocks of time before visiting, since you will get caught up in the magic and suddenly discover you've been sitting there for three hours.
The first show I saw on Broadway was "The Secret Garden," and here is a montage created and presented for the 1991 Tony Awards show, narrated by Julie Andrews. (I had trouble embedding the video, so here is a link instead.)

Secret Garden

Amazing. I just love reliving the glorious theatre moments of yesteryear, as well as moments I had the great fortune of seeing live on Broadway.
Enjoy!

TMI Tuesday.

I have a pinched nerve in my neck which is causing great pain. Ice, Motrin and Flexiril should help.

1. What is your language pet peeve. (example 'hot water heater', why would you heat hot water)

Well, I get annoyed when people mispronounce "nuclear" (nucular), "jewelry" (jewlery), "height" (heighth), and "drown" (dround). And there is no such word as "irregardless"-- it is a double-negative that renders itself pointless. But the one that really annoys me is when people say, "I could care less." They mean, of course, that they "couldn't care less." If they "could care less," then they really do care.

2. What is your favorite word? Both dirty and clean?

"Fuck." "Dream."

3. What is the one word you cannot spell?

Haven't met one yet.

4. What is the one word you always pronounce wrong?

I have a terrible time when I have to say the word "particularly." And I've had to say it in several plays.

5. If you could erase one popular catchphrase from the english language, what would it be?

Again, I could go on. I'll use George Carlin's. "Have a good one." Carlin's response? "I already have a good one-- what I want is a big one!"

Bonus (as in optional): The late, and very hot Michael Hutchence (INXS) once sang, "Words are weapons, sharper than knives" . What is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to anyone? Was it deliberate or accidental? What was the most hurtful thing ever said to you? Do you think it was deliberate or accidental?

I have been known to lose my temper and say a lot of hurtful things I regret later. The worst was, "I hate you." Yes, it was deliberate. I was called an asshole once by someone; that hurt. And yes, it was deliberate.

'Nuff Said Monday.

A retro edition today.

Jon-Erik Hexum, model and actor, who died far too young.

One of my first and most intense tv crushes.

My 25th Reunion.

Here are two pictures from my reunion. The first has me (foreground) looking at a bunch of other folks. Note my "vodka and water dirty with olives" in my hand as I prepare to face my past.

The second is the entire group that showed up. I am third from the left, in the back row.

What a grand time!

Neglect.

Oh, it's been a crazy summer.

I've been quite lax about the blog, failing to keep all my tens of faithful readers updated on my life. So, here is a little about what I've been up to.

My big project at work has been the creation of a dvd that will train librarians and library workers in how to use drama to get kids interested in books. The project was funded by a grant from the Illinois State Library using federal monies from the Library & Museum Association. Total cost: about $65,000. The film is professionally filmed and edited by my friend Anthony, who has his own production company. I am so excited for this project to be completed-- which should be any day now.

On the relationship front, I am not doing any dating and enjoying it. I did have a lovely afternoon with a fellow I met through Stephen's blog. We had a nice dinner, then went to see the Broadway in Chicago concert at the Petrillo Bandshell at Grant Park. Afterwards, a cocktail. He's a doll of a guy, and I was delighted to have made a new friend.

I attended a 6-week workshop for gay men called "Dating & Mating." My therapist moderated the workshop, and the focus was on determining what we are looking for in a relationship, what our realistic expectations for dating should be, and where to find the kind of men we'd like to date. It was really fun, interesting, and teeming with opportunities for making friends. This is important for me, as I have few gay friends. After living a rather insular existence for 16+ years with Jim, I am finding that I have to reinvent my social circle and create new experiences. I made one friend through this workshop who I really like-- his name is John, and he is 61 years old. You'd never know it, since he takes great care of himself and has a great youthful energy about him. He had been in a 25-year relationship which ended similarly to mine, so we have a lot in common. John is a sweetheart of a guy... I wish he were 20 years younger!

Then there was my 25th High School reunion. What a blast! I was thrilled to see some 80 people with whom I'd had no contact in all these 25 years. I felt great that I looked really good compared to most of the guys. Several of the girls told me I grew up to look "really hot." Great ego-booster, I must say! No one recognized me-- they all had to look at my nametag to realize who I was. That was the case with most of the guys; facial hair, weight, and hair loss can profoundly affect the appearance. The evening was great fun.

That's about all I have to report right now. Not terribly exciting, but busy.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

An actual magnet on my refrigerator.

TMI Tuesday.

1. Do you believe anyone truly likes their job? If so, why?

I should hope lots of people like their job, although I think statistics show that about 75% or Americans hate their job. If you are doing what you love, and loving what you do, and making enough money for your needs and/or wants, that's the ultimate in job fulfillment.

2. Do you 1) live to work or 2) work to live 3) not see a difference?

I work to live, and I'm not happy about it. Self-actualization and success for me would be to achieve what is described in question one.

3. How many hours do you work a week?

40ish.

4. What was your safety item (i.e. blankie) from when you were little?

Biffy Bear. He was a Mattel product who talked when his string was pulled. He was eventually beheaded by my brothers. This was years before those same brothers put dog poop under my pillow.

5. Have you ever used food during sex?

Nah. I'm a Virgo, and food is messy. Ick.

Bonus (as in optional):What is your guilty food pleasure?

Little Debbie Nutty Bars. They're cheap, and horrible for me, and utterly magical.