Waiting for Number Three.

I was so saddened to learn today that two of my favorite people from my childhood (and beyond) have passed away.

Suzanne Pleshette has died at the age of 70. Naturally, I adored her as Emily, the sassy but loving wife of Bob Newhart on his first tv show. I also squealed with delight when his second series, Newhart, ended with him discovering that the entire series had been a dream and he was back in bed with Emily.

But I also loved her in her few guest appearances on Will & Grace as Karen's grifter/mother. I loved how she called Karen "KiKi." I'm so sad she's gone.

The second death? Sam the Butcher. Actor Allan Melvin has passed. He also voiced "Magilla Gorilla," one of my favorite cartoons of my youth. He was on "All in the Family / Archie Bunker's Place," too, but I didn't care for those shows. No, he was and forever shall be Sam the Butcher.

Rest in peace.

What Am I Sick Of?

Boyfriend and I are both ill with colds, so we were unable to go to the premiere of "Three Days of Rain" presented by the theatre group to which I belong. Sure, we'll have plenty more opportunities to see it, but tonight he was to meet, among other friends, AnnieGrace! I'm terribly bummed.


Feeling headachy and a little congested, I am in a pissy mood. So, I've decided to make a random list of things or people I have had enough of. Let's begin:







Baby-doll dresses and tops: they make everyone look pregnant. I abhor them.















Paris Hilton



Britney, her sister, her mom, her ex-, her boyfriend, her babies, her lawyers, et al



Commercials where "apply directly to forehead" is repeated several times-- or any other commercial lampooning this phrase repetition



Disrespectful middle-schoolers



The writers' strike



Reality shows-- with the exception of "Project Runway," "Dancing with the Stars," and "American Idol"
















Tom Cruise and his "wife"




Movies or tv shows featuring an African-American man playing many roles, among them an older, fat, African-American woman













Pop-up ads mimicing dialog boxes telling me to click for my prize, or any pop-up mortgage ad featuring a scary animated dancing person or creature



The View



Clay Aiken



Tattoos





Broadway musicals based on movies that were bad movies to begin with









Paper-wasting "neighborhood shopper" newspapers that are in my mailbox almost every day



The war, the administration, the impending election ads



Commercials for Washington Mutual (WaMu) featuring a nice young African-American man against a large group of fat old white male bankers




YouTube losers being touted as celebrities










Anything related to "High School Musical"-- sequels, stars, ice show incarnations, tours, amateur productions



















Spam email that assumes I have a small penis, trouble getting it up, or an interest in "teen barnyard sluts"


Will Farrell

Thanks for letting me rant. I feel ever so much better now.

'Nuff Said Friday.

I'm such a slacker!

Here, for your consideration, is Pat Burrell.

TMI Tuesday.

1. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?



Wow, it's a toss-up between the Bewitched house and the Brady Bunch house... because I spent so much time in both of them, I'd feel at home in either one. Incidentally, my two favorite tv dads were Mike Brady and Darrin Stephens (#2), both played by gay actors. Not surprised.





2. If you had a clone, what would you make it do so you could have free time?


Go to work for me. Duh. I have direct deposit, so I could just basically shop all the time.

How shallow of me.



3. Who was your best friend when you were 8? When you were 13?


When I was 8? Hmmmmm.... I guess it was Eugene Buza. He was supposed to be a grade ahead, but he was held back. He had lots of issues, and my siblings made fun of him (behind his back), but he was pretty funny and we got into lots of trouble together. Sadly, he was riding his bike and hit by a car and killed at the age of 30 or so.


When I was 13? It was Wendy Rezab, my then girlfriend. She moved away at the end of freshman year of high school. I just tracked her down a little over a year ago and came out to her on National Coming Out Day. She was my first kiss... with a girl, I mean. Her breath always smelled of onions. That's why I'm gay.



4. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be & why?





I don't know... I've never been outside North America, really, so anywhere in Europe would be a start. Austria and Switzerland appeal to me. And Greece (specifically, Mykonos) ... for the men. (Again, I'm feeling kinda shallow tonight.)





5. Would you hate losing your sight or hearing most?


Hearing. Period. I'm a musician.



Bonus (as in optional): Nature or nurture?


NATURE! I don't blame my tv dad role models or my onion-breathed first girlfriend.

And stop asking this question, world.

'Nuff Said Tuesday.

A day late, the adorable Christian Maelen, from I Think I Do.

Images of him are hard to come by; see the movie.

We've Gone to the Dogs.

Saturday night was the fateful night when my Boyfriend and I decided to introduce his two dogs (a 1 1/2 year old pit bull and an 8 month old black lab mix) to my dog (a nearly 12-year-old Westie). Boyfriend and I met at his place and loaded his dogs and one of their (collapsible) kennels in my car (his car isn't big enough) and the other kennel in his car.

We met at a park just down the street from my house, and I went home to get Bailey. When all three dogs first met, it was a little rough. Gideon, the lab, thought perhaps Bailey was a chew toy. Poser, the pit bull, was only mildly interested, and Bailey wanted nothing to do with either of them. Just then Boyfriend realized he'd left the kennel-- th one thing that he was supposed to bring-- leaning against the fence by his garage. We decided he would go back home with Gideon and get the kennel, while I would let Poser and Bailey get to know each other. Which they did, and they were both pretty cool with the whole thing.

About 80 minutes later, Boyfriend and Gideon returned. It was a blessing that Gideon had done so much time in the car; his tummy doesn't travel well, so he was pretty tuckered out and relatively sedate. We let the three dogs hang out for a bit and sniff around. Mostly the younger dogs wanted to play and Bailey, like a crabby old man who dislikes children, grumbled for them to leave him be. And they respected him, even cowered. Ever the alpha male, that's my Bailey.

So we put all three in the guest room in their kennels, side-by-side, for the night. This way they could smell and see each other, but remain in their safe cocoons. The next morning was still a little tentative, but they were all much more at ease. We crated them again for a bit while we went to brunch, and when we returned it was better still. Since Boyfriend didn't have to work today, he and the boys stayed again last night and we did the same routine. All is well.

What a relief to have that hurdle crossed. It will get easier when the families are blended, and we've laid a good foundation and done it cautiously.

Okay, So Here's the Latest.

My boyfriend and I continue to be madly in love. It's been nearly two months since our first meeting, and we talk for at least an hour every night before bed. We typically see each other on weekends, although he came over last night (Thursday) for a little visit.

We got to talking about my ex, whom he has met. He asked, "May I pry? Why did you break up with him again?" I reminded him of the reason-- that the ex had met someone else (online, long-distance, whom he had never met face-to-face) and fallen in love. I took that as my cue to end what was already a sad relationship. Ex and I had not been intimate for quite sometime, and we had fallen out of love.

This panicked the Boyfriend, who immediately became concerned that our "no sex for six months" rule would take its toll on me and cause the end of the relationship. I calmed his fears as best I could, reminding him that I wanted to honor the decision we had made. Well, we ended up getting extremely intimate, and exploring some new activities while not actually experiencing the "big event." I told him that I didn't want him to compromise his ideals, that I was willing to wait until May. I assured him that I wasn't going anywhere, and that the intimacy and affection we share is already so far beyond what I have ever enjoyed with anyone else (especially the ex) that I have no qualms about waiting for sex (or "making love," as he insists it will be called).

It was really heartfelt and open, and I am so loving that we are letting it unfold. I have a feeling it won't be six months before we actually consummate the relationship, and that it will happen when it feels right for both of us. Meantime, it's so great to discover each other's bodies, features, skin, lips, hair a little at a time. It's like unwrapping a present when you already know what's inside. Like, "I know it's a sweater, but what color? What is it made of? I hate to tear this beautiful paper, so I'm going to take my time. I can wear the sweater and enjoy it as much as I want after I see it, but I only get to open it for the first time once. I want it to last."

Take it slow, breathe, relax, let it happen...

Things That Always Make Me Laugh.

These never get old for me.

The first is a Monty Python Sam Peckinpah film spoof.




Another Monty Python sketch.




And a commercial parody from the "Kentucky Fried Movie."




And finally, a real commercial which I saw several times before it was banned.

'Nuff Said Thursday.

Where have I been? I just discovered the gorgeous

Michael Horta.

My Pet Peeves.

Okay, I have a lot of pet peeves... the usual, you know. People who dial a number on their cell phone, then start up the car and talk incessantly while driving. Or people talking on a cell phone loud and clear in a store or a public place with no regard for others around them. In fact, a good many of my pet peeves are associated with the cell phone.

But it's grammar that's on my mind today. I'm talking about very simple, very basic, yet very common mistakes that an alarmingly huge percentage of the population is making.

The worst-- by far-- is the use of an apostrophe with a plural s. "Cookie's for sale here." "No exchange's." I could go on and on, but you get the idea. If you do this, please stop. And on the subject of apostrophes, it might be a good idea for everyone to double-check the old rule about "it's" and "its." This is probably the most common grammatical error in the English

language, but if we all try very hard, we can correct it.

The other one I'd like to address today is the dangling participle. The worst offenders with regard to dangling participles or misplaced modifiers are newswriters, both on radio and television. Here is an example:

"Missing for three weeks, police found her remains in a nearby garbage dump."

The implication of this sentence is that the police were missing for three weeks. The corrected sentence makes it even worse:

"Police found her remains, which had been missing for three weeks, in a nearby garbage dump."

Well, her remains weren't missing; she was. A better version of this sentence would be:

"Police found the remains of the woman, who had been missing for three weeks, in a nearby garbage dump."

Seriously, this is an extremely common error. Next time you're bored watching or listening to a news report, try to catch one of these. You'll be surprised how often you run across them. Here is a wonderfully helpful guide you can use to find them... and to avoid them.

Yes, perhaps I'm being a harshly judgemental Virgo. Perhaps I'm making a big fuss over something many would consider trivial. But I take pride in what I learned at a young age and I believe it's important to remember and respect the guidelines and rules for intelligent writing.

I feel so much better now.

TMI Tuesday.

1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear 'lucky jeans' on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they?

I’m not that superstitious about dating or sex. Despite almost 3 years of dating, there were no tricks that I would have used or needed. It’s all about fate and chemistry.

2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish -- to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be? - your spouse/significant other - an unrequited love or some person you've had a crush on - an old/past love - your best friend

My significant other is now my best friend, so that answers that.

3) Tell us "weather or not" you're in the mood -- how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido.

Well, I’m always in the mood, and I sleep nude year-round (thank the good lord for electric blankets), but I am much more horny in the summer.

4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a 'I'm drunk, let's screw' sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink -- which one of those things is the reason?)

I don’t drink enough anymore to actually get drunk—I’m on meds and I grew up with an alcoholic father—but when I used to binge drink, I got horny and very honest.

5) Who turns you on the most & why: [the activist, the author, the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor, etc.), the comedian, the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.), the model, the musician, the politician, the scientist]

The care-giver/healer is noble, and I’m turned on by the idea of having sex with him and seeing the not-so-noble side of him… also the idea of getting to “give” to him for a change.

Bonus (as in optional): Looking back, what's the one thing you've done which was supposed to be erotic, but didn't quite work out?

Sex in a bathtub. Jizz and water do not mix, and the clean-up is frightful.

'Nuff Said Monday.

Frederic Deltour.

A Terrible Oversight.

I have scarcely mentioned him, and I don't have a very current photo, but it occurred to me that I have never posted about my sweet dog, Bailey. He's a West Highland terrier who came from a private home in Oak Brook. He is going to be 12 years old on April 22, and for an old boy he's in pretty good health and spirits most of the time.

He suffered from some jaw cancer when he was just a puppy. Fortunately, they did not have to remove any of the jawbone... but he has no teeth on the lower right side of his mouth. He is a very sweet and loving dog. The only time he makes a growl is when he is being picked up, and that started from the time he was a tiny puppy.

I feel terrible when I spend the night at Michael's, because it means Bailey is alone. Granted, he has the run of the house, and I leave the tv on for him, and he hasn't peed or pooped at all. Still, he needs to be with me, and it would be nice to take him with me for overnights at Michael's. So... very soon, we will be introducing Bailey to Michael's giant-sized (but puppy-aged) dogs. That should be interesting. I wonder if valium is okay for situations like that? (For me, not the dogs!)

More Post-Holiday Luxury.

I spent some more of my gift cards on a lovely sweater. I had some gift cards which can be used at the Gap, Old Navy, or Banana Republic, so I tried the Gap first. Disappointing. After looking around at Banana Republic, I found the perfect sweater. Isn't it handsome? It bothers me a bit that the Banana uses mature-looking models. Does this mean their clothes appeal to that age group? Never mind that I'm in that age group...

Anyway, I love it. And I didn't pay a penny for it. And it's warm.

And I look good in it, if I do say so.

Better than that old guy in the picture.

Post-Holiday Luxury.

The Starbuck's Gift Card is a lovely thing to receive. I so enjoy the Cafe Verona, strong, with lots of light cream and 1 1/2 teaspoons of organic sugar (thank you, Michael, for turning me on to that).

I received many Starbuck's Gift Cards for Christmas this year. When I added the total amount of all of them, I discovered I had a whopping $80 worth. So I decided to visit Starbuck's to see what I could do with all that money (besides buying 40 cups of coffee).

And then I saw it. The Krups Burr Grinder. I salivated when I saw it... similar to the way I salivate at photos of certain hot men. It was not cheap, but at $60, it was within my gift card price range. Oh, it's amazing. I've had coffee grinders before, but this one has a coarseness setting, as well as a "number of cups" setting. I can now pour in the whole Verona beans, choose coarse (for my percolator), and choose the number of cups. No thinking required, no measuring, just lots of good, fresh, delicious coffee.

I've been awake for days.

TMI Tuesday.

Happy New Year! I was delighted to see Stephen is back in town and blogging again!

1. Last week was "The Most Wonderful time of the Year", but what are your favorite 2007 memories?

Buying my first house, moving in, and decorating it.

The Wizard of Oz.

The Dining Room.

Fifth of July.

Showtune.

A Midsummer Night's Cabaret.

The Annual SOC Benefit with AnnieGrace and friends.

Any Stephen / AnnieGrace event (AIDS Walk, Larry Sloan Awards, Disco Ball)

Falling in love with Michael.

2. What is the best thing you learned in 2007?

Patience, both in love / relationships, and in life.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how good was your 2007?

I'd give it an 8, especially because of August through December (finding a good therapist and then finding a boyfriend).

4. What is your wish for 2008? What is your wish for someone else for 2008?

My wish for me is that I'll have enough money to be comfortable and not have to worry. And my wish for someone else is that they will be able to treat her cancer and improve her quality of life.

5. If you knew that you were going to die in 2008 what one thing would you do?

Can't just name one thing... I would quit my job and travel, spend more time with those I love, and get my songs published.

Bonus (as in optional):Do you make New Year's resolutions? What is/are your's for 2008?

Well, I'd like to eat better and exercise more. Then I could look like this (thank you, Photoshop!):

'Nuff Said Monday.

Happy New Year!

(All photos from the Dieux du Stade French Rugby team calendar, 2008)

It's sad that I've only found time for 'Nuff Said postings. Blogging will commence again after the craziness of the holidays has passed.

'Nuff Said Thursday.

A 'Nuff Said Bonanza!

Pedro Palacio.

Marc Bartolomeo.

Ivan Sergei.

Don't know his name. Doesn't matter.

The Most Romantic Christmas Ever.

Christmas Eve. I finished the wrapping, watched "The Grinch" (the original animated version, not that horrible full-length film), had some egg nog, and made the easiest fudge in the world (1 can creamy milk chocolate frosting, 1 bag semi-sweet morsels, melted in a pan and poured into a foil-lined 8x8 pan, firmed in the fridge). At 9:30, I arrived at Michael's, where we enjoyed dinner-- which he had made. Roasted chicken and yummy ravioli filled with cheese and spinach. Then we sat in the living room and listened to the special "First Christmas" cd I had mixed just for us (see below).

Michael has never seen "It's a Wonderful Life." I, on the other hand, have watched it on Christmas Eve every year since 1979. It's my all-time favorite movie, and it was great fun to watch it with a first-timer. He loved it, and I cried several times during the movie-- something I haven't done in years.

After the film, we stood in the kitchen and talked, and hugged, and then I said, "I have something to tell you.... (wait for it, wait for it)... I love you." And he said, "Oh, and I love you, too." Then the passionate kiss, and the embrace, and the flood of joy and emotion. The rest of of the evening, we listened to the cd I made (again), then went to bed about 2:15 a.m. The dogs were with us on the bed, being their usual disruptive selves, but I didn't care. Every time one of us was awakened, we whispered to the other, "I love you." It was so beautiful, so heartwarming, so... right.

Christmas morning, I let Michael sleep a bit while I watched tv and thanked God for my blessings. Once Michael was up, we had coffee and exchanged cards (both perfect cards for the sentiment and the occasion), then gifts. I gave him the sweater I had bought him in NYC, a gift card to the Gap, and some of his favorite coffee, Starbuck's Verona Blend. He gave me a Gap gift card and a Starbuck's gift card. It was so sweet and simple and un-pretentious. I left to go home, take care of Bailey, and to go to my brother's for the family gathering.

My family numbers 19-- Mom and her husband, sister and her husband and 2 kids, older brother and his wife and 6 kids, younger brother and his wife and 2 kids. It's always chaos during the opening of presents; fortunately, we don't do a meal. We all bring hors d'ouevres and/or desserts and graze around the food whenever we're hungry. I managed to have a few moments to tell my younger brother and his wife about Michael (now the whole family knows), and my mom even asked me how it was going and how we spent our Christmas. She seemed genuinely interested... although I didn't share the part about professing our love. She'll know soon enough, and I'm sensible enough to edit where necessary.

My sister had drawn my name in the family grab bag, so it was more Gap gift cards and Crate & Barrel, too! I now have $150 in Gap gift cards... everyone was way too generous.

After leaving brother's, I returned to Michael's, picked him up, and we went to the home of a co-worker of his. They had invited us for Christmas dinner, and it was quite lovely. Here was this family of about 12 who welcomed us in, and we sat at the table and enjoyed a big ol' Christmas dinner. I knew I liked them when someone, during the toast, mentioned that 2008 would be Bush's last year in office, and everyone cheered. There was no judgement on anyone's part, and I felt as though they were really happy for me and Michael. We sneaked out after an insanely large cannoli cake was sliced and served.

The holiday came to a close with cuddling on the couch, kissing, and saying, "I love you" over and over. I got home about 10:30, and I had the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.

FYI... the "First Christmas" cd included the following songs:

1. "Just in Time for Christmas" Nancy LaMott

2. "In the End" Kevin McMahon

3. "Here & Now" Jana Stanfield

4. "That's the Way I Feel About You" Jana Stanfield

5. "Let's Fall in Love This Christmas" John Berry

6. "We Can Be Kind" Nancy LaMott

(all of the above titles available on iTunes)

Non-Sequitur.

This has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas. I'm sitting here on Christmas Eve after wrapping the last of my family's gifts and preparing for a little nap before I go to Michael's for our first Christmas together.

I happened on this while visiting Java's Blog, and had to steal it, as she had done.

Brilliant!

A Little Christmas Humor.

I love this! It's cute and silly, and very well done!

Check out this video: SNL (Charlie Brown Christmas with Phish)

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The Seven Deadly Sins Meme.

Just in time for Christmas, my delightful friend Stephen tagged me to do this meme. I feel compelled to do it, almost like one of those emails you have to forward to seven friends and then wait for the phone to ring.

Anyway, here it is. Oh, and let's see if RobOrange and Java might do this one as my tag-ees.

1. If you could kill someone (or injure them egregiously) who would it be and why? Bonus points for ‘how’.

I would never want to kill anyone, or even injure them. But there’s this bitch I know who causes nothing but trouble. She can certainly go. And how? Cast her in a play. She would suck so bad she’d be pelted to death with rocks.

2. You have been given 25 Million dollars, and you have to spend it all (no donations to charity or investing). What do you spend it on?

A big ol’ huge piece of land with a fairly average-sized home for me and Michael somewhere warm. Then homes for all my family.

3. You have the opportunity to steal anything in the world without getting caught. What is it and why?

This is a very materialistic question, and I really don’t care for the material things. So I guess I would steal all the money from a huge Swiss bank, and not have to work for the rest of my life.

4. You have the opportunity to pawn off one facet of your life to someone else forever. What is it and why?

My temper. No question. It’s my downfall whenever it rears its ugly head.

5. If you could have sex with anyone (or anything) throughout the history of the world without repercussions, who or what would it be and why?

Wow… this is a difficult question! I don’t usually think about having sex with people who are now dead. Someone sexy. Someone who I wouldn’t otherwise have any chance of having sex with—so someone straight. You know, JFK Jr. was always pretty hot and unattainable to me. Yeah, JFK Jr. This was a tough one, because any answer seems so shallow.

6. Describe the time in your life when you were the most bitterly jealous.

About 3 years ago, almost to the date I am writing this. I was burning a holiday CD on the computer when a little alert popped up telling me I had a new email message. I thought it odd, since I wasn’t even online. Turns out, my husband had been online and never signed off. The email was for him—and it was from the man he’d been having a long-distance affair with for nearly a year. It was the first I knew of it, and it ruined my Christmas. (I kept it to myself until February, but that’s a story for another post!)

7. If you could have free, no-death, GOOD plastic surgery on anything and everything that you want, what would you alter and why?

Well, I used to hate my nose. My skin is a little scarred near my temples from adolescent acne. I’ve always wanted a bigger wienie. But the one thing I would alter (and it doesn’t really involve plastic surgery) is my teeth. I was given a lot of tetracycline as an infant, so my teeth came in discolored and have stayed that way. I also dislike that my two front teeth look like rabbit teeth because the ones next to them are slightly crooked. This is something I will probably have fixed one day—just my own personal thing.

Chat Rooms.

This is a really clever short film about chat rooms. If you've ever been in one (and really, who hasn't?), it's cute.

I'm bored at work this afternoon... can you tell? I mean, who comes to the library on a Saturday afternoon right before Christmas? I think I'll post the "7 Deadly Sins Meme" that Stephen tagged me with.