WTF???

I always get the greatest inspirations from Stephen, and this one really surprised me. This "Cuss-o-Meter" looks at all my blog entries and determines how much I cuss.

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

I guess I tend to fucking edit my goddamn self while I am blogging. It's not that I don't want to offend, I just don't want piss people off with my shitty language. And to that I say, "Dayum!"

When the discussion of swearing comes up, I always think of "Inside the Actors' Studio" with host James Lipton, who asks those infamous five questions inspired by Bernard Pivot. One of the questions is, "What is your favorite curse-word?" My usual quick one is "FUCK!" But when it's really serious, here's my ultimate (cover your ears, Mom):

"Jesus Fucking H Christ All-Goddam-fucking-mighty!"

If you hear that, it's best to go in another room until I've calmed down. Like, about 5 hours or so.

Fuck.

'Nuff Said Monday.

The delectable Gabriel Garko.

Out of Town.

I will be attending a library leadership workshop from Tuesday through Thursday. It's one of those touch-feely things where we learn about the kind of personality we are, set personal and career goals, and discuss how to be better leaders.

But it's free, paid for by the Illinois State Library, and this session (the first of three) will be held at Starved Rock State Park in Utica, IL.

So I'll be back to blogging hopefully on Friday. Have a great week, everyone!

A Lifelong Dream Will Be Realized.

Guess what, y'all?

I'm going to Europe!

That's right-- Europe, bitches.

I am joining my dad and his wife on a cruise that departs from Dover, then sails to LeHavre (with day trips to Paris), Vigo (Spain), Lisbon, Barcelona, and ending in Rome (with a day trip to Tuscany).

We'll fly to London on September 8, with two nights in London before the cruise begins. This will give me a chance to see a show in London. My birthday will fall towards the end of the cruise-- somewhere around Barcelona-- although it will be a day at sea. We return the 23rd.

I'm so excited... I've never been very far out of the country, other than Caribbean cruises, a college trip to Montreal, and Jamaica when I was 7. And now I'm going to be all over Europe!

Woo hoo!

I guess I know what I'll be blogging about for awhile!

Favorite Things Friday.

I enjoy my gay hobbies-- theatre, music, sewing, sex -- as much as the next 'mo, but when I want to really create something I can be proud of, I turn to power tools.

I love to build things. And I have several tools that I love to use. My Makita 18v cordless drill / screwdriver is a dream. My inexpensive Pro-Tech 10-inch compound miter saw is one of my most oft-used reliables. My Ryobi table saw is also great to have.

But it's my Porter-Cable compressor/nailer kit that gets me hard. Oh, it's amazing. There are three different nailer guns that can be used with it, so I can shoot everything from staples to 2-1/2 inch finishing nails.

I've been using all my tools lately in the construction of a wall unit for some friends. It's a mantle, fireplace surround, cabinets and bookshelves, with the entire wall clad in oak. It's all built around a stacked-stone fireplace, so I'm going with a sort of craftsman / arts and crafts / mission style. When it's finished, I'll take pictures and post them here.

I feel so butch right now. I think I'll go have a cigarette and think about Jessica Alba.

Or about sewing clothes for Jessica Alba.

Or about Paul Walker, who starred in "Into the Blue" with Jessica Alba.

Dinner With a Movie Star.

Shirley Heezgay tagged me with this meme. Love it! It really got me thinking.

1. Pick a single person past or present who works in the film industry you would like to have dinner with. And tell us why you chose this person.

I would most definitely choose Dustin Hoffman. Number one, he's an actors' actor. Number two, he's starred in many films I adore. Number three, I have absolutely no sexual attraction to him, so we could engage in witty and deep conversation. (This is why Mr. Clooney would not get the invite. At least not to this dinner.)

2. Set the table for your dinner. What would you eat? Would it be in a home or at a restaurant? And what would you wear? Feel free to elaborate on the details.

It would take place in my home-- comfy, casual, relaxed. I would wear jeans and a sweater, nothing fancy or pretentious. I would serve Italian-- stuffed whole-wheat manicotti filled with goat cheese, ricotta and mozzarella in a sweet tomato sauce, asiago French bread, and a nice salad with a light oil and vinegar dressing. Tiramisu for dessert.

3. List five thoughtful questions you would ask this person during dinner.

Which performance makes you the most proud?

What role would you loved to have had the chance to play that you didn't?

Who was your favorite actor to work with? Actress?

Tell me all about "Tootsie"-- every detail.

What would you still like to do that you haven't done?

4. When all is said and done, select six bloggers to pass this Meme along to.

I don't really know that many bloggers, but I'll pick Mark in DE, Java, and Tilly Screams.

5. Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre, so people know the mastermind behind this Meme.

Back to Wisteria Lane.

I just visited SpoilerFix, one of my favorite sites, and learned that "Desperate Housewives" will be returning on April 13. It's about damn time! Joining the cast will be hottie Chris Carmack (right, formerly of the OC) as Susan's cousin who is a tax man.

Gabby will be dealing with the fact that Carlos is blind... and wondering why the seeing-eye dog can't do things like fetch the tv remote for her! Love it!

Orson running down Mike two seasons ago will also at last be addressed.

The season finale (around May 18) will finally explain what Katherine's secret is and there will be a shocking twist that, according to creator Marc Cherry, will "change the entire series."

Bring it!

'Nuff Said Thursday.

Gabriel Soto.

Accent--uate the Positive.

I do a mean east Indian accent, a funny ghetto dialect, and some decent English and Southern as well, but after taking a quiz I found on Stephen's blog (which he got from another blog, and so on and so on), I learned that I have an accent even when speaking in my regular voice.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Midland
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

This is an actual magnet that is on my fridge.

TMI Tuesday.

1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave?

I love kissing a guy with stubble. And I love when a guy enjoys me rubbing my scruffy face on his. I use a trimmer every two or three days for the scruffy stubbly look. Then every other day or so I use a razor (in the shower) to shave my neck and even the beard along the jawline and keep my cheeks clean.

Shaving the nuts... well, I don't do it often enough.

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?

"If that leaves a mark on my wall, you're dead."

OR

"Ouch! Mind the hair."

OR

"Sorry, girlie, but I'm gay."

3. Did you ever own a fake ID?

No. I never needed one. I was a pretty boring, sheltered kid.

4. Have you ever played a game which may require you or others to disrobe?

See last week's TMI Tuesday.

5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain?

No to both, but my gal pal RaeAnn from grad school used to call me when it rained and say, "Hey little boy, wanna go outside and play?" And we would run around in the quad in our bare feet in the rain, then find a secluded spot under a tree or in a building alcove and drink wine.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about your last boyfriend/girlfriend?

Um, no. See previous posts for that story. He's dead to me now.

'Nuff Said Monday.

Damien Crosse.

Dreamy.

'Nuff Said Friday.

I'm a day late. So sue me. This is, I believe, Francois Sagat.

Favorite Things Friday.

Being a big ol’ theatre queen, I thought I would share what I believe are my top 10 favorite musicals of all-time. It’s tough enough coming up with just 10, so I won’t even attempt to put them in any particular order.

A Chorus Line
Quintessential classic about auditions for a Broadway musical, featuring gay, Puerto Rican, black, Jewish, Asian, and WASP characters. And Cassie, who gets in because she slept with the director and learns not to pop her head. So to speak.

Les Miserables
Tragic, epic, accessible. And that march-step/waving flag finale of act one still induces goose-bumps.

Ragtime
A slice of Americana with several intertwining stories and a fantastic Ahrens/Flaherty score. “Wheels of a Dream” evokes pure patriotism.

Wicked
Yes, I admit it… I love this show. I’m neither 12, nor a girl, but I got chills when Elphaba flew.

Crazy for You
One of the few shows I saw more than once on Broadway. Great old Gershwin songs, and a farcical book by Ken Ludwig (Lend Me a Tenor).Fun, fun, fun! My first Susan Stroman experience... brilliant.

Thoroughly Modern Millie
Pure entertainment, old-school musical. I saw this one three times on Broadway and once here in Chicago on a tour. And fell in love with Marc Kudisch.

Baby
This one has sentimental value, since I was in it once and musical directed it twice. It’s a great show for an intimate setting and also great for community theatre.

Company
Possibly my favorite Sondheim show. It was the first of his that I ever saw (my college did it), and I was utterly hooked in every way. It was also the first show I was ever in (I played Harry).

Into the Woods
I laugh, I cry, I smile… lots of great songs, and one of my favorite to have musical directed and played piano for.

Follies
A masterpiece of Sondheim with a score rich in contemporary ballads as well as delightful but sarcastic pastiche. A sad but realistic commentary on the state of theatre, memory and marriage (well, in 1970 anyway).

Alright, feel free to share yours. But leave mine alone!

TMI Tuesday.

Just a little late....

1. In the midst of a hangover have you ever promised to "never drink again?" How long until you broke that vow?

Yes, I have made that promise, and it has been about 8 years since I really “drank,” meaning enough to be sick-drunk. I really used to be a binge-drinker… I’d only drink every few months, but when I did, I didn’t know when to stop. I was once sick right on the bar at a place in Chicago, after too many Sea Breezes. Since I’m on anti-depressants, I must limit my drinking or risk being really sick.

Now, last year at Pride I had a bit too much to drink, but my friend Jackie and I always cure the hangover that night with beef and cheese sandwiches from Buena Beef… and fries and a Diet Coke. Works like a charm every year.

2. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done while drinking (or not if it is really stupid) but thought it seemed like a good idea at the time?

In college, I had 14 Southern Comfort slammer shots, then played strip poker with 2 girls and another guy, and lost… and woke up naked and sicker than a dog on the floor of my friend’s apartment.

3. On a scale of 1-10, where do you rate green beer?

0… I’m not Irish, and I think the whole thing is irrelevant. I used to like beer a lot, but now it gives me horrible headaches if I have more than one or two. I really am not too fascinated with drinking at all... being an adult child of an alcoholic (though he's now been sober for about 17 years), it's probably a good thing I don't imbibe very often.

4. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn't have (drunk or sober)?

Yes indeedy… a girl. In grad school. We ended up sleeping together, although nothing happened (duh). We literally just slept together. There were many guys I kissed while drunk… too many to remember.

5. What is the stupidest thing you have ever seen a drunk do (besides driving a car)?

I really can’t think of anything. Stupidest? I guess trying to walk across a busy street with lots of traffic. I was dumbfounded at the ignorance of that.

Bonus (as in optional): How do you cure your hangover(s)?

Motrin, Diet Coke, and sleep. And as soon as possible, some bread to soak up what’s still in my stomach. I also find that drinking pop or water in between drinks helps dilute the alcohol and keeps a hangover at bay. I'm safest with vodka, which has very little effect on me. I enjoy a nice vodka and water, dirty, with small olives... on the rocks.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

This is actually a magnet on my fridge.

'Nuff Said Monday.

Aussie Footballer Campbell Brown.

Me and My Dog.

Bailey went in last week for his expensive vet visit.

They cleaned his teeth (after extracting several), and they were happy to report that his lower canines were intact. This is good, because those teeth help keep his tongue centered in his mouth, rather than having it hang out the side and making him look like a special-needs dog.

They also addressed the problem of his mouth infection-- a major infection of the salivary gland. They cleaned that up nicely, leaving his mouth full of dissolvable sutures.

They cleaned out his ear and found a polyp-- which they left alone, since he's 12 and has no apparent hearing loss.

Finally, they removed a cyst from his paw, stitched up the area, and wrapped it in a cute pink bandage. He was pretty groggy and crabby that evening, but now he's just fine-- he's on pain medication for another week! Lucky dog!

He's going to be just fine, thankfully.

So am I, it seems. Well, sort of.

My MRA showed that there were no issues with the blood vessels in the brain. Then why the pain in the back, neck, shoulders, and arms? Well, it's bone spurs on my vertebrae. I'm being sent to an orthopedic surgeon to discuss options-- of which there may be none. It might just be bursitis / arthritis. At any rate, it's not an aneurysm or any complication from my freakishly oversized cerebellum. That's something.

Bailey and I might just have a beer tonight, to celebrate our mediocre health.

Favorite Things Friday.

Every now and then, I treat myself to a little gift. No special occasion, just wanting to give myself a smile. Well, last week it was more than a smile—it was loud guffaws.

I bought the entire tv series “Soap” on dvd.

If you’ve never seen it, I recommend renting the dvd’s. Here’s a little bit for you—nostalgia for old fans of the show, and an intro for those unfamiliar.



Some of the funniest stuff ever. Every single cast member had opportunities to show off their comic side. A young Billy Crystal as Jodie, the gay almost-transexual… Richard Mulligan as Burt, who insisted he could make himself invisible… Jay Johnson as Chuck (and Bob)... Diana Canova as Corinne... Arthur Peterson as the Major, the befuddled grandfather who thought World War II was still going on… and of course Robert Guillaume as Benson, the sassy butler.

But it was Katherine Helmond and Cathryn Damon, as Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell, respectively, who were the stars of the show. They got to demonstrate the widest emotional range, from side-splitting comedy to gut-wrenching drama. I cried many a time during the show’s all-too-brief four year run.

Love it!

TMI Tuesday.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.