'Nuff Said Thursday.

Rodrigo Phavanello.

Yum.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

An actual magnet that's on my fridge.

TMI Tuesday.

1. How many credit cards do you own? Are they paid off?

Let's see... one store card and two major cards. And, yes, they are paid off. I only use them for emergencies. Otherwise, it's my debit card all the way. And all the time.

2. Can you be in love with someone you don't trust?

Absolutely not. I learned this from my relationship with Michael over the winter. No trust, no, love, no dice, no way.

3. Should prostitution be legal?

Define "prostitution." I've never really thought about this, but let's face it. There's supply and demand. It's not necessarily safe. It's potentially destructive, even deadly. It's gross... kinda. But it's everywhere, everyday. And some people need to pay a little to feel good.

But if that's the case, try porn. No. It should not be legal.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how good of a lover do you think you are? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)

When in a mutually loving relationship with another person, we are all 10's, right? Because if the relationship is healthy, there is open communication, and you can tell one another what you want and need, and they will do it. (That was a run-on sentence, and I apologize.) But truly, tell me what you want, and I'll do the same. It's not like you get one shot, and if the judges give you low scores you're out. It's a work in progress. For intimacy, honesty, sexiness, excellent oral skills, and great skin-- I am a 10.

5. What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

First, talking about anything in "our" future, or referring to us in any kind of relationship context.

Second, anything involving drugs. (Except nicotine.)

Third, lying about something basic. Like their age. This is huge for me. First date, and they're already lying. It's over before it began.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about your worst date ever.

It was the one and only time I met someone who had no face picture on their profile. We met via an online personals site, and he invited me to come over for dinner on a summer Sunday afternoon. He was Italian, his name was Sam, and he was 45 years old. Charming. Funny. He gave me directions to his house in a nice northwest suburb of Chicago.

As I drove up to his house, he stepped out the front door. He was 5 feet 4, stubby, chubby, balding, and looked to be about 60 or more. And old-world Italian. I felt immediately foolish. I should have driven off then and there. But I decided to be gracious. He had cooked a lavish Italian dinner, which I had to sit through and eat. He told me of his family home in Tuscany, the estate which belonged to him, and said, "If you behave like a good boy, someday that home in Tuscany will be yours." Seriously. Fuck.

I had noticed a portrait of him and his parents on the wall in his living room (nestled between large and frightening statues of saints and Virgin Mary's and hideous, overwrought, Florida-colored velvet furniture). He said in the portrait his mother was 50 and he was 35. Later he said his mother had died at the age of 80. Do the fuckin math. I pretended that my cell phone vibrated, took a pretend call and excused myself immediately to attend to a "family emergency."

Scary. Awful. Funny now, but quite a lesson. Many lessons.

I'm Alive and Well!

I got a lovely email from Mark over at Tales of the Sissy, and I must apologize for my lack of blogging. I'll give you the briefest update I can...

My wisdom tooth came out in about 5 minutes. I got lots of nitrous and novocaine... it was all quite groovy. I was perfectly fine to drive myself directly to Walgreen's to get my vicodin prescription filled, then home.

The pain came gradually, but I slept soundly through the night, waking up with a nice little puddle of blood on my pillow. I spent the next day feeling quite sore, but not too bad. I had to work the day after that, and I was really in pain. Motrin every four hours seemed to help. By the third day after surgery, it was really hurting, and spreading-- to my jawbone, my cheek, my left ear, and into other teeth. I felt as though there was some horrific infection spreading throughout my head.

Finally, on Monday morning, I called the oral surgeon, who saw me immediately and determined within minutes that I had a dry socket. Based on what I had heard about this, I would have expected pain far worse than what I had. I mean, yeah, it hurt like a motherfucker, but I slept with an ice pack on it and Motrin helped (even more than the vicodin), so I didn't think it was unbearable. Well, maybe a little.

I spent the next week and a half going every two days to the surgeon to get the gaping hold stuffed with clove-oil-soaked gauze. No pain, but the taste was dreadful. Everything I ate tasted completely of cloves. Horrible. Anyway, it's over now and I'm feeling good. The hole is healing up nicely and I irrigate it frequently with a syringe of warm water.

Three more wisdom teeth to go. Oy.

Then it was off the neurosurgeon for some good news: my brain issue and neck issue are fine. No problems there. My frequent headaches are probably caused by some nerve pinching between vertebrae C3 and C4, and can be helped with physical therapy. I also have the arm and elbow pain on the left side, which turns out to be the result of cubital tunnel-- like carpal tunnel, only in the elbow. The funny bone area. I'll have a simple outpatient procedure and it will be perfectly fine.

And that's enough. Thanks for missing me. No other big news just now, but I'll resume blogging and posting pics post haste!

What Happened to April?

I was extremely busy during the latter half of April with work stuff, which I'll post about later-- because it's exciting and fun.

I've also had continuing medical issues, which I will also post about later.

For today, I'm off to an oral surgeon to have my lower-left wisdom tooth pulled. I still have all four of my wisdom teeth, and at the age of 42 their removal is long overdue. Or so my dentist says. The lower ones are partially erupted, so food is always getting caught under the flap of gum on top them. Last week, one such piece of food got infected, causing much pain, weeping, and gnashing of the other teeth.

Fortunately, only getting one out shouldn't be too bad. Local anesthetic plus nitrous-- sweet.

I'm off today and tomorrow, so as I whimper in pain, perhaps I'll finally be able to catch up on blogging. I've so missed it.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

An actual magnet on my fridge.

Just cuz.

'Nuff Said Monday.

Francesco D'Macho.

Look What I Built!

It's pretty much done. A couple little details to take care of, but my months of hard work have paid off. I designed and built this for my ex (and still friend) and his partner. They paid me handsomely-- otherwise, I wouldn't have done it. I charged less than a professional carpenter would have, but still a pretty penny.

My inspiration was the stacked-stone fireplace, which led me to a craftsman style look. Everything is oak, stained with a red oak stain. The finish is a hand-rubbed satin polyurethane. The only part I didn't build from scratch was the base cabinets, which I bought from Home Depot. The rest I did all by myself. It really was fun, and I learned a lot as I went through the process.

Note that the countertops are tiled with a combination of beige travertine (2 inch) and slate (1 inch). I used leftover slate tiles as accents (you can see them throughout. I also installed small lights on either side, ran an extension cord through the inside of the bookcase, and plugged them into a switched outlet.

It's cool, isn't it?

Now I can relax on the weekends!

'Nuff Said Thursday.

Hotties Charlie David and Gregory Michael, from the gay horror series Dante's Cove.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

Once again, an actual magnet that is on my fridge.

'Nuff Said Monday.

A flashback to Michael Nader, who played Dex Dexter on "Dynasty." He was not as hot as Dimitri on "All My Children," but back in the day.... wowie!

An Old SNL Sketch.

This has cracked me up since the first time I saw it.

s.n.l ' key party '
Uploaded by Colin_addict

'Nuff Said Tuesday.

A few of my favorite things...

Happy April Fools' Day.

WTF???

I always get the greatest inspirations from Stephen, and this one really surprised me. This "Cuss-o-Meter" looks at all my blog entries and determines how much I cuss.

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

I guess I tend to fucking edit my goddamn self while I am blogging. It's not that I don't want to offend, I just don't want piss people off with my shitty language. And to that I say, "Dayum!"

When the discussion of swearing comes up, I always think of "Inside the Actors' Studio" with host James Lipton, who asks those infamous five questions inspired by Bernard Pivot. One of the questions is, "What is your favorite curse-word?" My usual quick one is "FUCK!" But when it's really serious, here's my ultimate (cover your ears, Mom):

"Jesus Fucking H Christ All-Goddam-fucking-mighty!"

If you hear that, it's best to go in another room until I've calmed down. Like, about 5 hours or so.

Fuck.

'Nuff Said Monday.

The delectable Gabriel Garko.

Out of Town.

I will be attending a library leadership workshop from Tuesday through Thursday. It's one of those touch-feely things where we learn about the kind of personality we are, set personal and career goals, and discuss how to be better leaders.

But it's free, paid for by the Illinois State Library, and this session (the first of three) will be held at Starved Rock State Park in Utica, IL.

So I'll be back to blogging hopefully on Friday. Have a great week, everyone!

A Lifelong Dream Will Be Realized.

Guess what, y'all?

I'm going to Europe!

That's right-- Europe, bitches.

I am joining my dad and his wife on a cruise that departs from Dover, then sails to LeHavre (with day trips to Paris), Vigo (Spain), Lisbon, Barcelona, and ending in Rome (with a day trip to Tuscany).

We'll fly to London on September 8, with two nights in London before the cruise begins. This will give me a chance to see a show in London. My birthday will fall towards the end of the cruise-- somewhere around Barcelona-- although it will be a day at sea. We return the 23rd.

I'm so excited... I've never been very far out of the country, other than Caribbean cruises, a college trip to Montreal, and Jamaica when I was 7. And now I'm going to be all over Europe!

Woo hoo!

I guess I know what I'll be blogging about for awhile!

Favorite Things Friday.

I enjoy my gay hobbies-- theatre, music, sewing, sex -- as much as the next 'mo, but when I want to really create something I can be proud of, I turn to power tools.

I love to build things. And I have several tools that I love to use. My Makita 18v cordless drill / screwdriver is a dream. My inexpensive Pro-Tech 10-inch compound miter saw is one of my most oft-used reliables. My Ryobi table saw is also great to have.

But it's my Porter-Cable compressor/nailer kit that gets me hard. Oh, it's amazing. There are three different nailer guns that can be used with it, so I can shoot everything from staples to 2-1/2 inch finishing nails.

I've been using all my tools lately in the construction of a wall unit for some friends. It's a mantle, fireplace surround, cabinets and bookshelves, with the entire wall clad in oak. It's all built around a stacked-stone fireplace, so I'm going with a sort of craftsman / arts and crafts / mission style. When it's finished, I'll take pictures and post them here.

I feel so butch right now. I think I'll go have a cigarette and think about Jessica Alba.

Or about sewing clothes for Jessica Alba.

Or about Paul Walker, who starred in "Into the Blue" with Jessica Alba.

Dinner With a Movie Star.

Shirley Heezgay tagged me with this meme. Love it! It really got me thinking.

1. Pick a single person past or present who works in the film industry you would like to have dinner with. And tell us why you chose this person.

I would most definitely choose Dustin Hoffman. Number one, he's an actors' actor. Number two, he's starred in many films I adore. Number three, I have absolutely no sexual attraction to him, so we could engage in witty and deep conversation. (This is why Mr. Clooney would not get the invite. At least not to this dinner.)

2. Set the table for your dinner. What would you eat? Would it be in a home or at a restaurant? And what would you wear? Feel free to elaborate on the details.

It would take place in my home-- comfy, casual, relaxed. I would wear jeans and a sweater, nothing fancy or pretentious. I would serve Italian-- stuffed whole-wheat manicotti filled with goat cheese, ricotta and mozzarella in a sweet tomato sauce, asiago French bread, and a nice salad with a light oil and vinegar dressing. Tiramisu for dessert.

3. List five thoughtful questions you would ask this person during dinner.

Which performance makes you the most proud?

What role would you loved to have had the chance to play that you didn't?

Who was your favorite actor to work with? Actress?

Tell me all about "Tootsie"-- every detail.

What would you still like to do that you haven't done?

4. When all is said and done, select six bloggers to pass this Meme along to.

I don't really know that many bloggers, but I'll pick Mark in DE, Java, and Tilly Screams.

5. Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre, so people know the mastermind behind this Meme.

Back to Wisteria Lane.

I just visited SpoilerFix, one of my favorite sites, and learned that "Desperate Housewives" will be returning on April 13. It's about damn time! Joining the cast will be hottie Chris Carmack (right, formerly of the OC) as Susan's cousin who is a tax man.

Gabby will be dealing with the fact that Carlos is blind... and wondering why the seeing-eye dog can't do things like fetch the tv remote for her! Love it!

Orson running down Mike two seasons ago will also at last be addressed.

The season finale (around May 18) will finally explain what Katherine's secret is and there will be a shocking twist that, according to creator Marc Cherry, will "change the entire series."

Bring it!