Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

An actual magnet on my refrigerator.

TMI Tuesday.

1. Do you believe anyone truly likes their job? If so, why?

I should hope lots of people like their job, although I think statistics show that about 75% or Americans hate their job. If you are doing what you love, and loving what you do, and making enough money for your needs and/or wants, that's the ultimate in job fulfillment.

2. Do you 1) live to work or 2) work to live 3) not see a difference?

I work to live, and I'm not happy about it. Self-actualization and success for me would be to achieve what is described in question one.

3. How many hours do you work a week?

40ish.

4. What was your safety item (i.e. blankie) from when you were little?

Biffy Bear. He was a Mattel product who talked when his string was pulled. He was eventually beheaded by my brothers. This was years before those same brothers put dog poop under my pillow.

5. Have you ever used food during sex?

Nah. I'm a Virgo, and food is messy. Ick.

Bonus (as in optional):What is your guilty food pleasure?

Little Debbie Nutty Bars. They're cheap, and horrible for me, and utterly magical.

'Nuff Said Monday.

Mario Lopez recreates the infamous Burt Reynolds Cosmo pose.

Favorite Things Friday.

I haven't done one of these kind of posts in awhile, but as I drove home from work today I was listening to one of my favorite artists and decided I should blog about him.

I really love the music of Jason Mraz. I first enjoyed his cd "Waiting for My Rocket to Come" a couple years back and since then have bought everything he has recorded. He did a cover of Seals & Crofts' "Summer Breeze" which appeared on the "Everwood" sountrack. There is a winsome Don McLean-esque sound to his voice at times. On other occasions he recalls a sort of belty showtune voice. No wonder... he has a big musical theatre background and is, by the way, a big Sondheim fan.

Which explains why lyrics are very important to him. He often sings about words, in a variety of contexts, and has been known to say that it's extremely important that his lyrics be heard and understood. More on him here. He's also really cute... like the skinny nerd who was part of your group in high school and always made you laugh.

If I were a dancer, I'd love to do a solo routine to "Make It Mine," the first track on his latest cd, "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things."

Here is a video of the acoustic version of "Make It Mine." It's much better with the big ol' brass section, but this is nice, too.





I lerve it!

The Ultimate Swear.

When I was a kid, we used "swears" only in extreme circumstances. There was "damn," of course, and "shit" and the f-word, the "King of All Swears."

My nephew at the tender age of 4 once tattled that his brother had used the "d-word," which I later learned was "shut up." Anything naughty to him was "the d-word."

As an adult, I find that women are generally quite unnerved by the word "cunt." This seems fairly universal, especially if the word is spoken directly to a woman's face as an insult. It's far worse than looking at a man and calling him a prick. Not that I use the word, mind you-- at least not to a woman's face. I might shout it at someone on tv who is pissing me off, like a certain "Top Chef" contestant. However, my friend Annie from England once shared that across the pond, old male friends will often greet each other with, "How you doin', you silly cunt?"

Anyway, the c-word seems to be a pretty offensive one. Which is why this clip is brilliant! Thanks to Bill in Exile for bringing it to my attention.

'Nuff Said Thursday.

"Xanadu" star Cheyenne Jackson.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

An actual magnet on my refrigerator.

TMI Tuesday.

What a weekend. I played and sang at a lovely memorial service for my dear friend Joan D, who passed away a couple weeks back after a (blessedly) brief battle with esophageal cancer. I also saw a show at Village Theatre Guild. Then there was the Tonys. Which had lots of musical performances, many of which I liked. I tend to be old-fashioned... maybe I'm getting old... but I did not enjoy "In the Heights" or "Passing Strange." I believe they both have merit and are great pieces, and I was inspired in particular by the story of how "In the Heights" came to be. I'm just soooo not into hip-hop or rap. And I won't even discuss "Xanadu" or "Cry Baby."

Last night was the annual awards night at my local theatre group. I was in charge of the production, which spoofed "Dancing With the Stars." It was cute and well-received. And now I can relax a bit.

On to the questions at hand...

1. What's your favorite color of lingerie?

If you're talking about women's unmentionables, I have no favorite color. Sorry, but a woman in her underwear does absolutely nothing for me.

If it's undies in general, and men are included, I guess black. Or white. Sheer white. Low-rise.

2. Do you have a porn collection?

I'm gay. Of course I do. Did Rose Kennedy have a black dress?

3. Do you have any fetishes?

I'm just going to leave it at yes, without going into any further detail.

4. What is your favorite place to have sex?

Well, a soft comfy bed works, but I'd love to try it in other places. I'd love to try it on a beach, in a swimming pool, outside in broad daylight. Really anywhere would be fun.

5. Do you like to scratch, bite, pull hair, etc? Do you like having it done to you?

This disgusts me. I absolutely hate having it done to me, and would never do it to anyone else. If others enjoy, more power to 'em.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you think the number of sexual partners you've had is below average, average, or above average, and how does that make you feel?

It's probably average, and I don't care. Any more than I care about the size of my dick or the amount of hair on my chest, or the amount of jizz I shoot. Really. It's pathetic that we spend so much time rating our sexual experiences based on comparison to those of other people. Who gives a shit?

But I do tend to shoot a lot of jizz. I mean, a LOT. I'm just sayin'. It is TMI Tuesday, after all.

My Flickr Mosaic!

Isn't this cool? The mosaic below represents photos I found on Flickr. I answered 12 questions about myself, and the answer for each question was then used as a Flickr search. I had to choose one image from the first page worth of results for each term. Then they were entered into a "mosaic maker."

This idea came to me via Stephen and Shirley Heezgay.

The questions:

1. What is your first name? Doug

2. What is your favorite food right now? Lasagna

3. What high school did you go to? Fenton

4. What is your favorite color? Orange

5. Who is your celebrity crush? Raoul Bova

6. What is your favorite drink? Diet Coke

7. What is your dream vacation? Hawaii

8. What is your favorite dessert? Crème brulee

9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Hot and sexy

10. What do you love most in life? Loved Ones

11. What is one word that describes you? Creative

12. What is your flickr name? dova

Here are the credits for the 12 photos in the mosaic.

1. Doug, 2. Lasagna, 3. carnival glass, 4. Welcome Home, 5. Raoul Bova, 6. PStarr - Buzzed on Vodka In a Discoish Helmet Pretend Drunk Driving a Clawfoot Tub With a Frying Pan Steering Wheel While 2 Eggs Collect Germs and Extra Toast Flies Out of an Unplugged Toaster Into The Breakfasty Steam, 7. memory of summer, 8. Crème Brulée, 9. You Sexy Thang, 10. Relaxing, 11. The Shape Of My Heart, 12. Dova 2-8-07 006

'Nuff Said Thursday.

Porn Star Tony Buff.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

An actual magnet on my refrigerator.

TMI Tuesday.

Well, I haven't been very consistent about blogging lately, mostly because work is kinda busy right now. No excuse... blah blah blah...

So, here's my first TMI Tuesday in awhile...

1. If you're in love with your partner, does it make the sex better?

Well, it sure should, don't you think? I mean, you want it more, you value it more. Right?

2. What is the most expensive sex toy you've ever purchased?

A Fleshlight. It's a mouth one. I enjoy it. That's about as elaborate as my toys get.

3. If you knew ahead of time you would not have an orgasm, would you still have sex?

Absolutely. I have enjoyed the experience without an orgasm on many occasions. I'm a very sensual person, so making out and being intimate-- really intimate-- can rock my world.

4. What celebrity would you most like to have sex with if given the chance?

I guess Raoul Bova.

Or Eddie Cibrian.

I don't think about it very much.

Okay, I think about it sometimes.

Okay, always.

Okay, constantly.

The restraining orders are pretty much forever.

5. Have you ever had sex while an audience watched?

No, but if someone really wanted to watch, I wouldn't mind.

Bonus (as in optional): Describe the best sexual encounter you've ever had.

Oooh, a three-way with two really hot guys. One was Brazilian. The other was caucasian. Oh, the attention they paid. It was amazing. I could've done it over and over, all night...

Out & Proud Indeed.

So in honor of Gay Pride month, WTTW Channel 11 aired a documentary tonight called "Out & Proud in Chicago." It traced the history of the gay movement from the earliest days of the city through the present.

If you didn't see it, you must see when it's going to be aired in your area, or order the dvd. I subscribed to Channel 11, mostly because I wanted the dvd of this film-- sans pledge breaks. With my subscription I also get the coffee table book and the baseball cap. I can't explain why I felt so proud.

It might have been the fact that transgender diva extraordinaire Alexandra Billings was interviewed. And was wonderful.

It might have been the fact that the community was portrayed in such an honest, historically relevent way. And was inspiring.

Or it might just have been that I really felt empowered by the legacy left by the trailblazers.

Find this documentary. Watch it. Then do something gay.

Quiet Saturday Night.

So I've been refurbishing my bedroom furniture. I'm re-doing the dresser and armoire. I pulled off the old (1970's, Spanish-inspired) mouldings. Then I gave everything a coat of primer, then three coats of semi-gloss black paint. I'm upholstering the insets of the doors and some of the drawers with off-white vinyl and topping the whole thing off with lovely brushed-nickel hardware. I'm going for a sort of 40's Hollywood look. We'll see. When I'm done I'm going to build a new headboard with the same stylings. The walls are now painted a taupe-brown... a color called "Poker Face" by the paint manufacturer but which I call... "I Drink Your Chocolate Milkshake." That's it on the right. "Poker Face?" What the hell?

I stopped over at Facebook and cabaret artist extraordinaire Lee Lessack had posted this hilarious video. I love that someone has so much time on their hands. (Meaning the video creator, not Lee Lessack.)

This battle between Carol Channing and Liza Minelli is perfection.

Sheesh. I'm Famous.

I mentioned back in February about a reporter from the Wall Street Journal reading my blog and wanting to interview me for an article. She did interview me, that same day, and one day last week, or maybe two weeks ago, she sent me an online link to the article.

Well, here's the bit about me from the article:

Some people have come across dirt on their loved ones without even looking for it. John Smith, a 42-year-old librarian in Bensenville, Ill., recently turned to ZabaSearch to find his new boyfriend's address so that he could send him a card. Instead, he found out that the boyfriend had been lying about his age -- he was 43, not 35 as he had claimed to be on the dating site where Smith had met him. "I thought, 'You're a liar! You're older than I am!,' " Smith recalls. The relationship ended soon thereafter.

I've changed my name here to John Smith. The following will explain why.

My mom called me today and said, "If you're going to do something, please tell me before I hear about it from all over the country!" I had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently, my uncle in Phoenix (her brother) called her today after seeing the article-- and my name -- in a newspaper out there. This Wall Street Journal article has apparently been syndicated to lots of other papers. Feeling curious, my techno-savvy mom then Googled my name.

"Have you ever Googled yourself?" she asked.

"Not in a long time, no."

"Well you should. There's page after page! Most of it is references to this article... from Sioux Falls, to the Cayman Islands, to Kansas City! There's something about you in an AIDS walk. You're quoted about being gay somewhere else, too. What would the people at work say?"

"Ummm... they wouldn't care."

"They know?"

Apparently, she doesn't realize that I'm pretty much out to everyone. The most upsetting part to her, I think, is that every Google result mentioning this article shows my name, my age, where I work, what I do for a living, and my sexual orientation. This puts it out there in black-and-white, and in some way, outs her as well. Guilt by association.

To her, I say, "Meh." I mean, now she must have images of the kind of things I do with other men in her mind. She's imagining all sorts of things....

And most of them are probably dead-on.

So I called myself John Smith above because if she Googled me again, it would link to this blog. And this is one place I don't need my mom pokin' her nose.

What price fame?

'Nuff Said Thursday.

Rodrigo Phavanello.

Yum.

Refrigerator Wisdom Wednesday.

An actual magnet that's on my fridge.

TMI Tuesday.

1. How many credit cards do you own? Are they paid off?

Let's see... one store card and two major cards. And, yes, they are paid off. I only use them for emergencies. Otherwise, it's my debit card all the way. And all the time.

2. Can you be in love with someone you don't trust?

Absolutely not. I learned this from my relationship with Michael over the winter. No trust, no, love, no dice, no way.

3. Should prostitution be legal?

Define "prostitution." I've never really thought about this, but let's face it. There's supply and demand. It's not necessarily safe. It's potentially destructive, even deadly. It's gross... kinda. But it's everywhere, everyday. And some people need to pay a little to feel good.

But if that's the case, try porn. No. It should not be legal.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how good of a lover do you think you are? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)

When in a mutually loving relationship with another person, we are all 10's, right? Because if the relationship is healthy, there is open communication, and you can tell one another what you want and need, and they will do it. (That was a run-on sentence, and I apologize.) But truly, tell me what you want, and I'll do the same. It's not like you get one shot, and if the judges give you low scores you're out. It's a work in progress. For intimacy, honesty, sexiness, excellent oral skills, and great skin-- I am a 10.

5. What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

First, talking about anything in "our" future, or referring to us in any kind of relationship context.

Second, anything involving drugs. (Except nicotine.)

Third, lying about something basic. Like their age. This is huge for me. First date, and they're already lying. It's over before it began.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about your worst date ever.

It was the one and only time I met someone who had no face picture on their profile. We met via an online personals site, and he invited me to come over for dinner on a summer Sunday afternoon. He was Italian, his name was Sam, and he was 45 years old. Charming. Funny. He gave me directions to his house in a nice northwest suburb of Chicago.

As I drove up to his house, he stepped out the front door. He was 5 feet 4, stubby, chubby, balding, and looked to be about 60 or more. And old-world Italian. I felt immediately foolish. I should have driven off then and there. But I decided to be gracious. He had cooked a lavish Italian dinner, which I had to sit through and eat. He told me of his family home in Tuscany, the estate which belonged to him, and said, "If you behave like a good boy, someday that home in Tuscany will be yours." Seriously. Fuck.

I had noticed a portrait of him and his parents on the wall in his living room (nestled between large and frightening statues of saints and Virgin Mary's and hideous, overwrought, Florida-colored velvet furniture). He said in the portrait his mother was 50 and he was 35. Later he said his mother had died at the age of 80. Do the fuckin math. I pretended that my cell phone vibrated, took a pretend call and excused myself immediately to attend to a "family emergency."

Scary. Awful. Funny now, but quite a lesson. Many lessons.

I'm Alive and Well!

I got a lovely email from Mark over at Tales of the Sissy, and I must apologize for my lack of blogging. I'll give you the briefest update I can...

My wisdom tooth came out in about 5 minutes. I got lots of nitrous and novocaine... it was all quite groovy. I was perfectly fine to drive myself directly to Walgreen's to get my vicodin prescription filled, then home.

The pain came gradually, but I slept soundly through the night, waking up with a nice little puddle of blood on my pillow. I spent the next day feeling quite sore, but not too bad. I had to work the day after that, and I was really in pain. Motrin every four hours seemed to help. By the third day after surgery, it was really hurting, and spreading-- to my jawbone, my cheek, my left ear, and into other teeth. I felt as though there was some horrific infection spreading throughout my head.

Finally, on Monday morning, I called the oral surgeon, who saw me immediately and determined within minutes that I had a dry socket. Based on what I had heard about this, I would have expected pain far worse than what I had. I mean, yeah, it hurt like a motherfucker, but I slept with an ice pack on it and Motrin helped (even more than the vicodin), so I didn't think it was unbearable. Well, maybe a little.

I spent the next week and a half going every two days to the surgeon to get the gaping hold stuffed with clove-oil-soaked gauze. No pain, but the taste was dreadful. Everything I ate tasted completely of cloves. Horrible. Anyway, it's over now and I'm feeling good. The hole is healing up nicely and I irrigate it frequently with a syringe of warm water.

Three more wisdom teeth to go. Oy.

Then it was off the neurosurgeon for some good news: my brain issue and neck issue are fine. No problems there. My frequent headaches are probably caused by some nerve pinching between vertebrae C3 and C4, and can be helped with physical therapy. I also have the arm and elbow pain on the left side, which turns out to be the result of cubital tunnel-- like carpal tunnel, only in the elbow. The funny bone area. I'll have a simple outpatient procedure and it will be perfectly fine.

And that's enough. Thanks for missing me. No other big news just now, but I'll resume blogging and posting pics post haste!

What Happened to April?

I was extremely busy during the latter half of April with work stuff, which I'll post about later-- because it's exciting and fun.

I've also had continuing medical issues, which I will also post about later.

For today, I'm off to an oral surgeon to have my lower-left wisdom tooth pulled. I still have all four of my wisdom teeth, and at the age of 42 their removal is long overdue. Or so my dentist says. The lower ones are partially erupted, so food is always getting caught under the flap of gum on top them. Last week, one such piece of food got infected, causing much pain, weeping, and gnashing of the other teeth.

Fortunately, only getting one out shouldn't be too bad. Local anesthetic plus nitrous-- sweet.

I'm off today and tomorrow, so as I whimper in pain, perhaps I'll finally be able to catch up on blogging. I've so missed it.